Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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