I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
