where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Buhtt sex?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
