You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
