Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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