Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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