4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I wish I only lived at night.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
