you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
