i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
