Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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