You're my little dorito
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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