idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
