I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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