Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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