the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
