I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
