I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
