You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
