Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
