How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize