I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize