there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
