his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize