I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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