sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize