margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
