Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
