So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
