Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
