too bad you live with your parents still
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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