im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
