next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
