GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
