Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
