there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
