im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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