do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
