it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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