i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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