It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Houston, we have a blender
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
