Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
