i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
