rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize