I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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