id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My breasts were aching with rage.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
