Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
