he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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