I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
BRING THE BAGELS
Randomize
