I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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