All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
