I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
