You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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