I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
