Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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