i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
