I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
