No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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