He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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