At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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