when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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