Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize