what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
