Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Sober January is a disaster.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
