Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I have fence marks all over my body
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
