I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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