When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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