it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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